Saturday, October 23, 2010

"The Ugly Duckling" by: Hans Christian Anderson (some close insights on this story)....

The "original story" here, and my commentary follows: 

It was lovely summer weather in the country, and the golden corn, the green oats, and the haystacks piled up in the meadows looked beautiful. The stork walking about on his long red legs chattered in the Egyptian language, which he had learnt from his mother. The corn-fields and meadows were surrounded by large forests, in the midst of which were deep pools. It was, indeed, delightful to walk about in the country.
In a sunny spot stood a pleasant old farm-house close by a deep river, and from the house down to the water side grew great burdock leaves, so high, that under the tallest of them a little child could stand upright. The spot was as wild as the centre of a thick wood.
In this snug retreat sat a duck on her nest, watching for her young brood to hatch; she was beginning to get tired of her task, for the little ones were a long time coming out of their shells, and she seldom had any visitors.
The other ducks liked much better to swim about in the river than to climb the slippery banks, and sit under a burdock leaf, to have a gossip with her. At length one shell cracked, and then another, and from each egg came a living creature that lifted its head and cried, “Peep, peep.” “Quack, quack,” said the mother, and then they all quacked as well as they could, and looked about them on every side at the large green leaves.
Their mother allowed them to look as much as they liked, because green is good for the eyes. “How large the world is,” said the young ducks, when they found how much more room they now had than while they were inside the egg-shell. “Do you imagine this is the whole world?” asked the mother; “Wait till you have seen the garden; it stretches far beyond that to the parson's field, but I have never ventured to such a distance. Are you all out?” she continued, rising; “No, I declare, the largest egg lies there still. I wonder how long this is to last, I am quite tired of it;” and she seated herself again on the nest.
“Well, how are you getting on?” asked an old duck, who paid her a visit.
“One egg is not hatched yet,” said the duck, “it will not break. But just look at all the others, are they not the prettiest little ducklings you ever saw? They are the image of their father, who is so unkind, he never comes to see.”
“Let me see the egg that will not break,” said the duck; “I have no doubt it is a turkey's egg. I was persuaded to hatch some once, and after all my care and trouble with the young ones, they were afraid of the water. I quacked and clucked, but all to no purpose. I could not get them to venture in. Let me look at the egg. Yes, that is a turkey's egg; take my advice, leave it where it is and teach the other children to swim.”
“I think I will sit on it a little while longer,” said the duck; “as I have sat so long already, a few days will be nothing.”
“Please yourself,” said the old duck, and she went away.
At last the large egg broke, and a young one crept forth crying, “Peep, peep.” It was very large and ugly. The duck stared at it and exclaimed, “It is very large and not at all like the others. I wonder if it really is a turkey. We shall soon find it out, however when we go to the water. It must go in, if I have to push it myself.”
On the next day the weather was delightful, and the sun shone brightly on the green burdock leaves, so the mother duck took her young brood down to the water, and jumped in with a splash. “Quack, quack,” cried she, and one after another the little ducklings jumped in. The water closed over their heads, but they came up again in an instant, and swam about quite prettily with their legs paddling under them as easily as possible, and the ugly duckling was also in the water swimming with them.
“Oh,” said the mother, “that is not a turkey; how well he uses his legs, and how upright he holds himself! He is my own child, and he is not so very ugly after all if you look at him properly. Quack, quack! come with me now, I will take you into grand society, and introduce you to the farmyard, but you must keep close to me or you may be trodden upon; and, above all, beware of the cat.”
When they reached the farmyard, there was a great disturbance, two families were fighting for an eel's head, which, after all, was carried off by the cat. “See, children, that is the way of the world,” said the mother duck, whetting her beak, for she would have liked the eel's head herself. “Come, now, use your legs, and let me see how well you can behave. You must bow your heads prettily to that old duck yonder; she is the highest born of them all, and has Spanish blood, therefore, she is well off. Don't you see she has a red flag tied to her leg, which is something very grand, and a great honor for a duck; it shows that every one is anxious not to lose her, as she can be recognized both by man and beast. Come, now, don't turn your toes, a well-bred duckling spreads his feet wide apart, just like his father and mother, in this way; now bend your neck, and say ‘quack.’”

The ducklings did as they were bid, but the other duck stared, and said, “Look, here comes another brood, as if there were not enough of us already! and what a queer looking object one of them is; we don't want him here,” and then one flew out and bit him in the neck.
“Let him alone,” said the mother; “he is not doing any harm.”
“Yes, but he is so big and ugly,” said the spiteful duck “and therefore he must be turned out.”
“The others are very pretty children,” said the old duck, with the rag on her leg, “all but that one; I wish his mother could improve him a little.”
“That is impossible, your grace,” replied the mother; “he is not pretty; but he has a very good disposition, and swims as well or even better than the others. I think he will grow up pretty, and perhaps be smaller; he has remained too long in the egg, and therefore his figure is not properly formed;” and then she stroked his neck and smoothed the feathers, saying, “It is a drake, and therefore not of so much consequence. I think he will grow up strong, and able to take care of himself.”
“The other ducklings are graceful enough,” said the old duck. “Now make yourself at home, and if you can find an eel's head, you can bring it to me.”
And so they made themselves comfortable; but the poor duckling, who had crept out of his shell last of all, and looked so ugly, was bitten and pushed and made fun of, not only by the ducks, but by all the poultry. “He is too big,” they all said, and the turkey cock, who had been born into the world with spurs, and fancied himself really an emperor, puffed himself out like a vessel in full sail, and flew at the duckling, and became quite red in the head with passion, so that the poor little thing did not know where to go, and was quite miserable because he was so ugly and laughed at by the whole farmyard.
So it went on from day to day till it got worse and worse. The poor duckling was driven about by every one; even his brothers and sisters were unkind to him, and would say, “Ah, you ugly creature, I wish the cat would get you,” and his mother said she wished he had never been born. The ducks pecked him, the chickens beat him, and the girl who fed the poultry kicked him with her feet. So at last he ran away, frightening the little birds in the hedge as he flew over the palings.
“They are afraid of me because I am ugly,” he said. So he closed his eyes, and flew still farther, until he came out on a large moor, inhabited by wild ducks. Here he remained the whole night, feeling very tired and sorrowful.
In the morning, when the wild ducks rose in the air, they stared at their new comrade. “What sort of a duck are you?” they all said, coming round him.
He bowed to them, and was as polite as he could be, but he did not reply to their question. “You are exceedingly ugly,” said the wild ducks, “but that will not matter if you do not want to marry one of our family.”
Poor thing! he had no thoughts of marriage; all he wanted was permission to lie among the rushes, and drink some of the water on the moor. After he had been on the moor two days, there came two wild geese, or rather goslings, for they had not been out of the egg long, and were very saucy. “Listen, friend,” said one of them to the duckling, “you are so ugly, that we like you very well. Will you go with us, and become a bird of passage? Not far from here is another moor, in which there are some pretty wild geese, all unmarried. It is a chance for you to get a wife; you may be lucky, ugly as you are.”
“Pop, pop,” sounded in the air, and the two wild geese fell dead among the rushes, and the water was tinged with blood. “Pop, pop,” echoed far and wide in the distance, and whole flocks of wild geese rose up from the rushes. The sound continued from every direction, for the sportsmen surrounded the moor, and some were even seated on branches of trees, overlooking the rushes.
The blue smoke from the guns rose like clouds over the dark trees, and as it floated away across the water, a number of sporting dogs bounded in among the rushes, which bent beneath them wherever they went. How they terrified the poor duckling! He turned away his head to hide it under his wing, and at the same moment a large terrible dog passed quite near him. His jaws were open, his tongue hung from his mouth, and his eyes glared fearfully.
He thrust his nose close to the duckling, showing his sharp teeth, and then, “splash, splash,” he went into the water without touching him, “Oh,” sighed the duckling, “how thankful I am for being so ugly; even a dog will not bite me.” And so he lay quite still, while the shot rattled through the rushes, and gun after gun was fired over him.
It was late in the day before all became quiet, but even then the poor young thing did not dare to move. He waited quietly for several hours, and then, after looking carefully around him, hastened away from the moor as fast as he could. He ran over field and meadow till a storm arose, and he could hardly struggle against it.
Towards evening, he reached a poor little cottage that seemed ready to fall, and only remained standing because it could not decide on which side to fall first. The storm continued so violent, that the duckling could go no farther; he sat down by the cottage, and then he noticed that the door was not quite closed in consequence of one of the hinges having given way. There was therefore a narrow opening near the bottom large enough for him to slip through, which he did very quietly, and got a shelter for the night.
A woman, a tom cat, and a hen lived in this cottage. The tom cat, whom the mistress called, “My little son,” was a great favorite; he could raise his back, and purr, and could even throw out sparks from his fur if it were stroked the wrong way. The hen had very short legs, so she was called “Chickie short legs.” She laid good eggs, and her mistress loved her as if she had been her own child. In the morning, the strange visitor was discovered, and the tom cat began to purr, and the hen to cluck.
“What is that noise about?” said the old woman, looking round the room, but her sight was not very good; therefore, when she saw the duckling she thought it must be a fat duck, that had strayed from home. “Oh what a prize!” she exclaimed, “I hope it is not a drake, for then I shall have some duck's eggs. I must wait and see.”
So the duckling was allowed to remain on trial for three weeks, but there were no eggs. Now the tom cat was the master of the house, and the hen was mistress, and they always said, “We and the world,” for they believed themselves to be half the world, and the better half too. The duckling thought that others might hold a different opinion on the subject, but the hen would not listen to such doubts.
“Can you lay eggs?” she asked. “No.” “Then have the goodness to hold your tongue.” “Can you raise your back, or purr, or throw out sparks?” said the tom cat. “No.” “Then you have no right to express an opinion when sensible people are speaking.” So the duckling sat in a corner, feeling very low spirited, till the sunshine and the fresh air came into the room through the open door, and then he began to feel such a great longing for a swim on the water, that he could not help telling the hen.
“What an absurd idea,” said the hen. “You have nothing else to do, therefore you have foolish fancies. If you could purr or lay eggs, they would pass away.”
"But it is so delightful to swim about on the water,” said the duckling, “and so refreshing to feel it close over your head, while you dive down to the bottom.”
“Delightful, indeed!” said the hen, “why you must be crazy! Ask the cat, he is the cleverest animal I know, ask him how he would like to swim about on the water, or to dive under it, for I will not speak of my own opinion; ask our mistress, the old woman—there is no one in the world more clever than she is. Do you think she would like to swim, or to let the water close over her head?”
“You don't understand me,” said the duckling.
“We don't understand you? Who can understand you, I wonder? Do you consider yourself more clever than the cat, or the old woman? I will say nothing of myself. Don't imagine such nonsense, child, and thank your good fortune that you have been received here. Are you not in a warm room, and in society from which you may learn something. But you are a chatterer, and your company is not very agreeable. Believe me, I speak only for your own good. I may tell you unpleasant truths, but that is a proof of my friendship. I advise you, therefore, to lay eggs, and learn to purr as quickly as possible.”
“I believe I must go out into the world again,” said the duckling.
“Yes, do,” said the hen. So the duckling left the cottage, and soon found water on which it could swim and dive, but was avoided by all other animals, because of its ugly appearance.
Autumn came, and the leaves in the forest turned to orange and gold. then, as winter approached, the wind caught them as they fell and whirled them in the cold air. The clouds, heavy with hail and snow-flakes, hung low in the sky, and the raven stood on the ferns crying, “Croak, croak.” It made one shiver with cold to look at him.
All this was very sad for the poor little duckling. One evening, just as the sun set amid radiant clouds, there came a large flock of beautiful birds out of the bushes. The duckling had never seen any like them before. They were swans, and they curved their graceful necks, while their soft plumage shown with dazzling whiteness.
They uttered a singular cry, as they spread their glorious wings and flew away from those cold regions to warmer countries across the sea. As they mounted higher and higher in the air, the ugly little duckling felt quite a strange sensation as he watched them. He whirled himself in the water like a wheel, stretched out his neck towards them, and uttered a cry so strange that it frightened himself. Could he ever forget those beautiful, happy birds; and when at last they were out of his sight, he dived under the water, and rose again almost beside himself with excitement.
He knew not the names of these birds, nor where they had flown, but he felt towards them as he had never felt for any other bird in the world. He was not envious of these beautiful creatures, but wished to be as lovely as they. Poor ugly creature, how gladly he would have lived even with the ducks had they only given him encouragement.
The winter grew colder and colder; he was obliged to swim about on the water to keep it from freezing, but every night the space on which he swam became smaller and smaller. At length it froze so hard that the ice in the water crackled as he moved, and the duckling had to paddle with his legs as well as he could, to keep the space from closing up. He became exhausted at last, and lay still and helpless, frozen fast in the ice.
Early in the morning, a peasant, who was passing by, saw what had happened. He broke the ice in pieces with his wooden shoe, and carried the duckling home to his wife. The warmth revived the poor little creature; but when the children wanted to play with him, the duckling thought they would do him some harm; so he started up in terror, fluttered into the milk-pan, and splashed the milk about the room.
Then the woman clapped her hands, which frightened him still more. He flew first into the butter-cask, then into the meal-tub, and out again. What a condition he was in! The woman screamed, and struck at him with the tongs; the children laughed and screamed, and tumbled over each other, in their efforts to catch him; but luckily he escaped. The door stood open; the poor creature could just manage to slip out among the bushes, and lie down quite exhausted in the newly fallen snow.
It would be very sad, were I to relate all the misery and privations which the poor little duckling endured during the hard winter; but when it had passed, he found himself lying one morning in a moor, amongst the rushes. He felt the warm sun shining, and heard the lark singing, and saw that all around was beautiful spring.
Then the young bird felt that his wings were strong, as he flapped them against his sides, and rose high into the air. They bore him onwards, until he found himself in a large garden, before he well knew how it had happened. The apple-trees were in full blossom, and the fragrant elders bent their long green branches down to the stream which wound round a smooth lawn. Everything looked beautiful, in the freshness of early spring. From a thicket close by came three beautiful white swans, rustling their feathers, and swimming lightly over the smooth water. The duckling remembered the lovely birds, and felt more strangely unhappy than ever.
“I will fly to those royal birds,” he exclaimed, “and they will kill me, because I am so ugly, and dare to approach them; but it does not matter: better be killed by them than pecked by the ducks, beaten by the hens, pushed about by the maiden who feeds the poultry, or starved with hunger in the winter.”
Then he flew to the water, and swam towards the beautiful swans. The moment they espied the stranger, they rushed to meet him with outstretched wings.
“Kill me,” said the poor bird; and he bent his head down to the surface of the water, and awaited death.
But what did he see in the clear stream below? His own image; no longer a dark, gray bird, ugly and disagreeable to look at, but a graceful and beautiful swan.
To be born in a duck's nest, in a farmyard, is of no consequence to a bird, if it is hatched from a swan's egg. He now felt glad at having suffered sorrow and trouble, because it enabled him to enjoy so much better all the pleasure and happiness around him; for the great swans swam round the new-comer, and stroked his neck with their beaks, as a welcome.
Into the garden presently came some little children, and threw bread and cake into the water.
“See,” cried the youngest, “there is a new one;” and the rest were delighted, and ran to their father and mother, dancing and clapping their hands, and shouting joyously, “There is another swan come; a new one has arrived.”
Then they threw more bread and cake into the water, and said, “The new one is the most beautiful of all; he is so young and pretty.” And the old swans bowed their heads before him.
Then he felt quite ashamed, and hid his head under his wing; for he did not know what to do, he was so happy, and yet not at all proud. He had been persecuted and despised for his ugliness, and now he heard them say he was the most beautiful of all the birds. Even the elder-tree bent down its bows into the water before him, and the sun shone warm and bright. Then he rustled his feathers, curved his slender neck, and cried joyfully, from the depths of his heart, “I never dreamed of such happiness as this, while I was an ugly duckling.”


If they ONLY knew....what the END result was. But its ok. God knows. And thats ALL that matters.

"The Ugly Duckling" what a LESSON this story has! Remember his CRITICS? My Pastor says: "Let it roll off, like a ducks back"

He had been persecuted and despised for his ugliness, and now he heard them say he was the most beautiful of all the birds……Then he rustled his feathers, curved his slender neck, and cried joyfully, from the depths of his heart, “I never dreamed of such happiness as this, while I was an ugly duckling.” **what are your critics saying?**

And you know there was some jealous swan's out there....lusting after the beauty he had. BUT, do you honestly THINK they would have been willing to go through the SAME persecution HE went through to get there? NOPE. You NEVER know the STORY behind someones BLESSING.

And its funny how the author MADE SURE he talked about the seasons Then when I thought about the story...I thought about how INTENSE and MEAN the others where him...and how deep hurt settled inside of him...BUT he NEVER envyed their beauty....then when he just said forget it, and went back and saw them coming he was like KILL ME, and they then embraced him and told him that he was the most beautiful wow...

Then the ones that stood back in awe....wanting to be him. Then I thought about how people in these days and times act. And then I was like IF THEY ONLY KNEW 1/10th of what the person had to GO THROUGH to get there....and get what they have....WOW. BUT GOD.

Wait a minute...I just had another insight on the story of "The Ugly Duckling" now correct me if I am wrong...this morning when I read the story, I noticed, ANYBODY that was NOT speaking into & encouraging the duck, he DIDN'T STAY around. I wonder DUCK! :) WOW.

I don't know about you, but there's something about the simple things in life. There are LESSONS EVERYWHERE and IN EVERYTHING. Let's have fun...but sometimes...these things deserve a SECOND look. It doesn't matter if its a childrens book, or something else....there are NUGGETS to be found. WOW...I am lost for words. And to THINK that we think GOD is punishing us, when he takes away dead weight in our lives...once again I say...he is protecting ministry. WOW, all I can do is shake my head on this one....

Our Journey...

My journey may not be the same journey as yours, however it still requires some of the same things.

1. Embrace it.
2. Adjust your attitude.
3. Change your mindset.
4. Forgive yourself & others.
5. Know the Serenity Prayer.
6. Learn.
7. Be progressive.

…to say the least.

By: Debra White-Browne


"Contrary to popular belief, a leader does follow, to be a leader you MUST know how to follow…AND that leader MUST also know that, if HIS leader sees him about to WRECK ship…shouldn’t he be told? I’d rather be told, b/c its no guarantee that you’ll recover after you shipwreck."
-Debra White-Browne

Which is it?

Success requires more of you.

Fear just makes you sit motionless.

Which is it?


It doesn’t matter what it looks like b/c as we all know thats an “EXCUSE” but lets move PROGRESSIVELY pass our current situations, and MAKE IT HAPPEN.

MOST successful people had *SITUATIONS* that they also had to MOVE PASS as well. 

-Debra White-Browne

*Take off dead weight, remove the blinders & drown out the noise*

When you have done all you can. All you can do is back up, pray and love from a distance. Just because you aren’t entertaining the calls & messages doesnt mean you don’t care. You’re just finished. Loving from a distance.

When its done. Its done. Enough is enough. How much pain & rejection should 1 go through before they realize that their kindness, unconditional love, support, etc etc is being taken for granted? We’ve GOT to learn that we can supercede someone will. If they don’t want it. Then lets keep it moving, and save ourselves from self harm trying all we can.

Don’t SHIPWRECK YOUR LIFE, listen to God…he is trying to save you from yourself ya know? Take heed, OR cry later. Your choice.

Why settle for *ok* when GOD is trying to give you *WOWOWOWOW*

My Carribean friends told me once: STAND FIRM IN LOVE, falling in love or loosing yourself, my friend…is not love.

Question: How can you fly like an Eagle, when you have dead weight on your wings & blinders on your eyes? Entertaining these things WILL handicap you in Kingdom business! What/Who is your dead weight and what blinders have they caused you to wear?

Those warning signals you are getting….take heed & and listen because its GOD trying to save you from a WORLD of trouble! Get out of it NOW or it may end up being too late when you are too deep into it!

The worlds SUPER HERO’S dont have the ability to see your life from start to finish. (As MUCH as I like Spiderman) However I know someone who does! :) With his KNOWLEDGE he is able to give you WARNING SIGNS! TAKE HEED & SAVE YOURSELF THE TROUBLE, all that glitters ISNT GOLD! And TRUST ME IT GLITTERS BETTER THAN GOLD! BUT….it WILL TARNISH/TURN/FADE/SHOW ITS TRUE COLOR/WILL NOT STAND THE HEAT/NOR THE TEST OF TIME

(A series of posts from my FB & twitter page, all related to the title: Taking off dead weight, remove the blinders and drown out the noise).

Monday, September 13, 2010

the lachrymatory

the lachrymatory

Yes, he loves you…he really loves you. Can you imagine anyone else so mindful of you that he would collect the very tears that we cry.

Lamentations 3:22
He’s so mindful of you. He gives you little nuggets in your valley. And sends countless other messages & people in our lives just to speak life into what we see as a seemingly dead situation.

There is no other person that I know, that will answer a hurting, broken, hopeless heart better.


Your tears.

He said, I said.

Boaz: He can’t find you if you are hidden

Me: So am I hidden in PLAIN sight?

Boaz: Maybe God is working on his eye sight and perception.

Me: Oh, okay. So thats what it is?

Boaz: Among a few other things.

Me: So I should continue to gleem in the fields until I am noticed.

Boaz: Work ministry? Yes.

Me: So. I will. Patience is virtue.

for those in waiting…

Sunday, September 12, 2010

WhY & hOw?

How do you go from LOVING a person to hating them at the same time? I truly do not understand. How soon do we forget? How can you go from loving someone to slandering their name all over the city, coming up with every negative comment you can think of, and dragging them through the dirt every chance you get. (Matthew 7:1-5). Nobody is perfect (and that includes YOU), but when you know the VERY HEARTBEAT of someone…and that someone did nothing but provoke you into the wonderful person that you are…how can you go from LOVE to hate in a matter of about 60 seconds? Is it not in the Bible that if you are at odds with someone to go to them and work it out? I truly do not understand people these days and how they can join any NAYSAYER and how they can go from God wonderful child to claiming to be a child of GOD and a naysayer at the very same time. (James 1:6-8). Be a woman or a man about it, and just go to the person who you are at odds with and talk it out.

Check this out below:



I. Various words used in Scripture.

A. Hebrew word rakil

Lev. 19:16 - “you shall not go about as a slanderer”

Prov. 11:13 - “he who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets”

Prov. 20:19 - “he who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets”

Jere. 6:28 - “rebellious, going about as a talebearer”

Jere. 9:4 - “goes about as a slanderer”

B. Greek word psithurismos - “to whisper” - psst

Rom. 1:29 - filled with unrighteousness, full of deceit, gossips, slanderers”

II Cor. 12:20 - “slanderers, gossip..”

C. Greek word phluarus - “to babble”

I Tim. 5:13 - “gossips and busybodies”

D. Greek word diabolos - “to throw through, to slander”

I Tim. 3:11 - “malicious gossips”

II Tim. 3:3 - “malicious gossips”

Titus 2:3 - “malicious gossips”

II. Defining gossip.

A. To spread secrets or rumors - Prov. 11:13; 20:19

B. False accusations, slander

C. To reveal personal facts about another.

1. “Did you know…?” “Have you heard…?”

2. What information about others is legitimately passed on to others?

III. Biblical evaluation of gossip.

A. Antithesis of righteousness - Lev. 19:16; Prov. 11:9; Rom. 1:29

B. Antithesis of faithfulness - Prov. 11:13

C. Product of corrupt mind - Rom. 1:28

D. Used by wicked people - Jere. 6:28

E. Stirs up trouble - Jere. 9:4

F. Breaks relationships - Prov. 11:9; 16:28

G. Causes anger - Prov. 25:23

H. Epidemic among those who do not know God - Rom. 1:28-32; II Cor. 12:20; II Tim. 3:3

I. Gossip is sin - diabolic - contrary to character of God

1. ego-enhancing - tear others down to build self up

2. comparison

IV. Gossip in the midst of Christian community.

A. Violates and dissipates “community of trust” in Body of Christ.

B. Destructive, divisive

C. Done subtlely under pretense of prayer requests

D. Church discipline sometimes necessary

V. Avoiding gossip.

A. Love does not act unbecomingly - I Cor. 13:5

B. Choose your mind-set - Phil. 4:8; Col. 3:2

1. Old saying:

”Simple people talk about other people.

Average people talk about things.

Wise people talk about ideas.”

C. Do not say anything about another person that you would not be willing to say to directly.

D. How should we respond when someone begins to gossip?

1. Don’t participate

2. Avoid - Prov. 20:19

3. Change subject

4. Confront

VI. Practical considerations of passing information about another.

A. Letters of recommendation.

B. Preaching illustrations.

C. Counseling confidentiality.

D. Those in positions of authority.

to be animal like....

A lion is to have a graceful quietness but yet…a sharp sense of your surroundings. Nothing gets passed you without challenge.

A duck. Because it knows how to just let things ROLL off its back (thanks Mom, Pastor & Mentor). Advanced: A swan. Delightful!

An eagle. Yes. Yep. Using the storms to gain Altitude.

Strive. Become. Observe.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Professor Experience...

A new beginning another journey, at least by me. I walk in....sit down...and mingling with everyone. When 7:55 comes I sit down and wait for the Professor.

I enjoy people. I enjoy learning about them. Here I am just waiting patiently. Not knowing anyone...I say to myself. Okay? What time is it? It is time to go yet. Fear and doubt kicks in....I get nervous.

I look across the room and I catch the eye of another person. I am saying to myself...OMG...look away FAST. What is it about this person that has me pondering? I am sitting here picking my brain trying to overstand what's in theirs. I shake the thought, oh well.

So I sit there and I wait for the Professor to come in. The Professor walks in. Stands in the middle of the room, and commands attention. I look at "it" because its strange....its neither a woman or a man. What the heck is this I say to myself.

It turns around.....takes a deep breath. And shakes it's head and walks towards the blackboard. It writes on the board "Professor Experience Builds Character" I say to myself...what in the world is this?

My legs don't work. My body is stiff. When I try to move...its like my inner being gets up...but leaves the rest of me behind. I am like...looking back at myself saying....COME ON IDIOT LETS RUN NOW! I come to "real EYES" that its my fear and doubt telling me not to go there.

I reckon with the struggle and I come together again. I look around the room....and everyone has left. Its just me. The one student that did not...because she could not,


Why me? I ask myself. Why do I have to be in this class with Professor Experience? Why do I always get into these situations? The part of me that is adventurous goes wholeheartedly forward. While fear and doubt holds the rest of me back.

Professor Experience comes to me and looks at me and says....

"How do you expect thrive in your future career and in life if you will not allow yourself to experience?"

I look at it with a smirk on my face and say, "excuse me, do you know what's best for me? Why don't you take a walk in my old shoes and tell me why part of me went skipping and the other sat here doubting?"

Professor looks at me and shakes it's head and says, "When I stood in the middle of this room, I knew that YOU were the one I was here to teach. That's why I turned around and shook my head."

I looked at Professor Experience and rolled my eyes as hard as I could and stood up and said, "Do you have ANY idea the pain, hurt, disappointment, despair, regrets and rejection I have had in my life? Do you have ANY idea what its like to cry yourself to sleep, cry in your sleep, and wake up crying because you just can't understand why life has dealt this card?" I do the very best I can...I love people, I give, I work, I am everything to everyone, yet it is all in vain. I keep choosing the same card over and over in my relationships, in my daily dealings with people, in my career choices, in my affairs, and I just can't seem to figure out what my lesson is!"

Professor Experience turned it's head walked to the blackboard and started writing....

and writing......and writing.......

I look at the board....wiping the tears from my face and what did I see? Nothing. I wiped my face again...but nothing was there to read. I stood there puzzled. It looked at me and said, "Experience builds character. Keep living...keep learning....keep moving forward." Then it waved at me to come follow the path not taken.....

Redefining Beauty

Must I be tall, slim or thin?

Should I allow the media to dictate who I am?

I am here to redefine beauty.

Must I have long hair, straight without natural curl?

Should I allow the media to dictate who I am?

I am here to redefine beauty.

Must I be flawless like the little Barbie that I had?

Should I allow the media to dictate who I am?

I am here to redefine beauty.

Must I seek the approval of a man to validate me?

Or should I allow the media to dictate who I am?

I am here to redefine beauty.

Must I hide behind layers of foundation?

Should I allow the media to dictate who I am?

I am here to redefine beauty.

Must I bleach my skin to get the part?

Should I allow the media to dictate who I am?

I am here to redefine beauty.

Should I run to the nearest cosmetic surgeon?

Should I allow the media to dictate who I am?

I am here to redefine beauty.

Must I compete to be among the best dressed?

Should I allow the media to dictate who I am?

I am here to redefine beauty.

Should I hide behind closed doors because I am ashamed?

Should I allow the media to dictate who I am?

I am here to redefine beauty.

I am here to redefine beauty, I come in different shapes, sizes, and heights.

I am here to redefine beauty, My hair comes in different lengths, textures, styles, and its natural.

I am here to redefine beauty, I am not flawless, because I am real.

I am here to redefine beauty, I don't need validation from anyone, I hold my beauty in my eyes.

I am here to redefine beauty, Because I am not afraid to go natural, it is natural that God made me.

I am here to redefine beauty, I don't have to bleach my skin to attempt to hide my unique self.

I am here to redefine beauty, I don't have to be under the knife of a Doctor.

I am here to redefine beauty, no need to recreate my wardrobe, I spice up anything I wear with what I have.

I am here to redefine beauty, I walk with my head up, and my confidence turned up because I am what I am, no need to prove anything!

Whomever you are...whatever makes you who you proud, and wear it well. For beauty IS in the eye of the beholder!

A day in my life...a mini sermon!

At times sitting in Church, my friend and I are giggling because I be saying things because the word is like CONFIRMATION of my situation. GOD is amazing, not amazing in that he surprises me, what he does, but he did it in the word. And what he does is that of his NATURE. The VERY NATURE of GOD. He amazes Renee because he keeps proving himself over and over, because he confirms, and reassures, his motive, desire, and desire for our lives, is to make us step by step, walk out the word of GOD, and use it to GUIDED, TEACH, DELIVER,CHASE, PUSH, and PROVOKE us to make it our LIFE.

Sunday, I was getting dressed. Why does GOD come to us when we are getting dressed? Showering, etc etc?

I guess because a lot of us, I know I do, just think think think, as I am getting dressed. I can process a lot of information during this time.

As I was getting dressed Sunday for church, the Holy Spirit said: Just trust in GOD, just trust him. Trust him. For who else can you trust?

I said okay GOD, I hear you.

SO I went on about my business.

So Sunday morning service, and afternoon, really just put the icing on the cake.

A lot of times I am just sitting in church I am listening, but I am also processing, and GOD gives me revelation for my own situations.

A lot of times when I am praising GOD I am also singing a new song, just singing praises, GLORY and honor to GOD.

Today, I had to take my son to the doctor and stuff. SO by me having the day off, I was able to stop by my sisters house and let the kids use me to hold & spoil them. (she has a in home day care) LOL.

But I was over there with her, and why did she ask me what Pastor (also our mother) preached on? I said girl I don't know because a lot of times, (which is bad) I process, and chew on, and get revelation right in church listening....and I need to start taking notes, but the teaching be so good, I am eating it then. And it saturates my heart. But she went upstairs, and I had laid Little Ray (Sugar Ray Leonard, because his cry STINGS LIKE A BEE), but I laid him down, and picked up her Bible and began to read about Moses. I have to say: Moses was a stone TRIP.

After GOD had (summons him, my favorite word lately.....because GODS word is summonsing (if that's a word) me. After GOD had came to MOSES, and gave him the basically (GAME PLAN of what he was going to have him do....and minister to the people) MOSES yet and still didn't not want to go.

I said to myself, what kind of sense? SO I was processing this, and I said, GOD. HELP ME. Because a lot of times, GOD summons us. and comes and gives us the game plan.....YET we STILL do not TRUST enough in GOD to do it.

But yet we sit in church, NOD and say amen, glory, hallelujah, leave church go home, yet living a life YET still defeated? Why? Because we doubt GOD. We worry.

I said, GOD help me. I mean, GOD is our coach. A coach is chosen in life, because of his expertise in the area of sport. He gives you a game plan, because he knows it will WORK. EVEN MORE so with GOD, his game plan is THE GAME PLAN.

Why trust in MAN? Because although a coach, in the world, knows what he is talking about, he sometimes, has a plan that don't work. BUT the good thing about GOD is....he is the COACH, and he is VALIDATED, because he gave us the GAME PLAN, which is the GOD-BREATHED WORD OF GOD!

He is the coach of all coaches, he is the GREAT I am...He is the I AM who I am....his plans NEVER FAIL.

Moses had the NERVE to say: And what if they don't believe.

WHAT! KINDA! SENSE! (for those who know me, this is my favorite phrase as of lately).

We are just like MOSES!

We have the goods, but we are afraid to fail. God has came up with a game plan, gave us the paper, and said now go forth and DO, yet we still, are saying why me lord? Can you get someone else more qualified? We are going through hell and high water because GOD is qualifying us! He has already gave you the keys, he has already worked it out in OUR favor, now just shut up and GO do! You are wasting TIME!

So, when my sister came downstairs, we just talked about GOD.

Not complex, just simple.

Why do people sit in church, say amen, and GO home DEFEATED?

2 Timothy 3. Ever learning, but never coming into the KNOWLEDGE OF GOD!

Saying they have faith....but yet they still have mustard seed faith!

I told Dee, yea that was when you first accepted Christ. And the mustard seed was good at the time (and still is)....but the Bible says: YE of LITTLE faith, so apparently like my friend preached one time, as the Bible progresses you had to have increased your faith.

Your MINDSET, speech, and FAITH size MUST increase.

I told her, I said people are CRAZY!

And they wonder why they are still in the same situations, and trails. Always seemingly to never LEARN, GROW and COME OUT OF, or go through KNOWING that victory has already been won!

I told Dee (my sister),

These are the things I have and MUST learned.......

1. I cant NOT pay my tithes. because then I am cursed.

2. I cant AFFORD TO SPEAK death over my finances OR my situations!

Now, I told her....if people tell you to speak GOOD about children, because if you speak bad it comes into being....

Same true for our tongues speaking into our life.

Speak LIFE in your situations, speak LIFE into your finances!

Ever WONDER WHY you are still going through financially, and in other areas of your life?

Because 1. You are continue to speak DEATH over everything, and never speaking LIFE into the situations, you lack BIGGER faith, you lack, BELIEF, you doubt GOD, and you are calling GOD a LIE!

Yes you are calling GOD a LIE!

Because yes its natural to worry, but to worry yourself SICK and WEARY, over a situation you cant control? Worrying is the EXPECTATION that GOD will fail you! WHAT? Yes, instead of you EXPECTING GOD to overturn in your situation, you continue to DOUBT HIM. He has given you POWER, and PROMISES! If you WORRY, your expectation is that GOD hasn't made a way out of no way. Your expectation is that HE hasn't worked out things.

2. Perhaps you are going through, and still in your situation, because like you Pastor, MOM, and mentor....that GOD is working in your favor...Like he did MOSES. Continue to read. I like this scripture: 3:21. As I was reading to Dee, her and I both...chewing it...I said wait. Girl I am stuck on verse 21. Look at that: FAVORABLY. Hmmmmmmmmmm? He is working in your favor. He had ALREADY worked it out, and he came BACK to MOSES, as he was in his season of the backside of the desert.....he came to MOSES with the game plan. As you read on....GOD gave him 3...different things to do, JUST in case, they didn't believe. But as the story progresses, it was like, honey dripping from a honey cone, they believed! Game plan, played, and scored!

3. Perhaps GOD is having you to go though because its a LESSON to be learned. Perhaps you faith needs to increase. Perhaps you are ever hearing, but never coming into the FULL knowledge of....

4. Perhaps you are in the situation longer then you were suppose to be because your MINDSET, DOUBT, and sword of your tongue is killing all possibility. Perhaps, when you talk with people, trying to get a work from everyone but the MASTER GAME PLAN: The Bible. Perhaps you keep speaking, girl I don't have it, girl I don't, girl I cant, girl I have bills, girl I this, girl I that....Why with your words, and you realize that you are charging GOD foolish?

So, this is what GOD has been giving me.

I tell you, I KNOW I haven't arrived, and I have TONS of growing to do, but as I told Dee, I told her I am like GOD...just help me to restructure my speech, my mentality, and help me to TRUST in you.....Lord JUST help me, oh Lord, HELP me. I told her I said, girl I have never trusted in GOD, like I am now!

I mean its not like we were rich, in the Tri City area, but its like when you get separated, and divorced, you do have challenges in finances. YET trust in GOD.

When all else fails, TRUST IN GOD.

He is not going to allow you to go on a shopping spree every week, but he said you will NEVER need for anything. He will supply ALL of your needs.


MY songs: LET GO, soon as I stop worrying, and LET GOD, let him have his WAY!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Secret Private Pain

Unless you have been here, it would be hard to explain. Although I never want to re-live the times in my life where I experienced this type of pain…I also don’t want to forget where GOD has brought me either. I don’t look back at these times, because I want to nurture, caress and not let it go…I look back at it as a reminder that I once didn’t think I would get over these times in my life. This is just one of my countless reasons why my heart goes out to hurting people. Depending on how deep their pain is…its hard to reach them sometimes. But you know what? I was one of those people. I am grateful to have had some “BUT GOD” moments in my life.

I don’t know how many of you remember me as Debra White in school. Elementary, Middle school, high school and college. Some of you remember so don’t. This is also a reason why I hate with a passion when kids are bullied, talked about and taunted in school as well. That kind of pain walks with a person till GOD delivers them.

Like my Pastor, and mom has said so many times before. I don’t know who every said that sticks and stones my hurt my bones but words will never hurt me. I beg to differ.

Not only did I suffer deep pain in my school age years, that pain went with me up through college as well. I didn’t stop at college either. I must say I had one friend that stayed with me, and I really thank for her friendship. Many of you knew her as Carletta Williams. Now married, Carletta McCullough ( I think I spelled it right).

Private pain is the type of pain that runs deep. The kind that keeps you up at night. The kind that the devil torments you with. I don’t know if my sister Paulette White remembers, but one day she sent me a card that said, “tear stained pillows” I still have that card today. That was the story of my life. This is the kind of pain that keeps you either flipping your pillow in hopes to find a dry side, or reaching for a dry pillow while trying to MAKE yourself fall asleep.

This is the kind of pain that drugs, alcohol, sex and not other so called means of coping can remedy. I am talking to those of you that have been born and raised in the Church, those that have it inside of you, but have covered it up and refuse to allow the “knowing” that it is a redeemer to minister to you.

Many of us know of GOD and about GOD, but that knowing hasn’t bought us into a healthy place. We have knowledge of GOD but haven’t embraced it to provoke us to change. We are running to and fro….here and there trying to find what GOD has given us the option to use. GOD is NOT going to force himself on us. We must be willing. But what is it that keeps you up at night? Why are you continuing to chase after something that is not there. That false hope and emptiness that the devil has given us.

Are you still holding onto pain and hurt that someone else has caused you? Is that same pain, giving you reason to stay out “THERE” too long? I have written about this many times before. I believe the last time I wrote about it…it was titled “Provoking Thoughts.”

When will you get sick and tired of being sick and tired? Like my Pastor said if you play around too much the devil will take you farther than you wanted to, and keep you longer than you wanted to. How long will you allow your PAIN to dictate how, when, and what makes you happy.

Some of you only know Debra from December 2006 + …so you don’t know where I have come from. Like I said I haven’t arrived, however I have certainly come a long way. I have YET to give my full testimony. But trust me when I tell you I know pain. And its not good. If you were to look at a recent picture of me and a old picture of me, you would not even KNOW who you are looking at. You might realize its me, but you would not believe how the face of hidden, deep secret pain can look. Its not pleasant. That’s when the devil has a hold of you and your very countenance is different. Have you every seen a commercial on depression medicines? Or a commercial on clinical depression? Imagine that.

How much longer are you going to allow the devil to beat you up. You can either choose to hang on to it, or you can chose to let it go. If you make a conscious decision to let it go, get help and move on with life. Trust me it will not be easy, but it can be done.

Believe it or not, the choice is yours. Once you REALLY make up your mind…the sky is the limit to the PURE JOY…that you can experience. I mean the kind of JOY and PEACE that surpasses all understanding.

Trust me. I am sure there were many who counted me out of the race, and had held me in their minds as down for the count. BUT GOD. God will use the LEAST of us….to bring GLORY to his KINGDOM. When the world counts you out, GOD counts you in. Don’t allow the world to dictate who you are, and what you will become, because GOD has a greater work in store for you! IF you allow him to heal the hidden, secret pain that you carry.

Why not start living today?

Are you resilient?

Wow, what an absolutely beautiful day is it out there today. How’s your inner forecast doing?

As I work from home today, thinking about what has happened during this week of vacation for me (son was out of town, smile). I have had some time to reflect on some things. What came up in my spirit was a question. Are you resilient? Are you able to bounce back? Now do you see how God can sometimes deal with me? I am like…hmmm good question. That’s what I love about the Holy Spirit. Just when you think you have conquered some areas of your life you’ve challenges with, the Holy Spirit gives you a mirror to ask and question yourself, basically provoke within you a self-evaluation. Oh, and let’s not forget the people and situations that will come up to test you!

The past few weeks has been a bit challenging for me to say the very least. Its been wonderful to know that my son is away with family having a blast, and its been awesome doing nothing but relaxing…but at the same time…tests, trials, tribulation, adversity, and the such continue, just as life itself. So, in short there has been quite a few things that has troubled me this week. Thankfully, my relationship with GOD, my coping skills, and ability to bounce back kicked into high gear. I definitely haven’t arrived but I am glad to know that trouble don’t last always. Its up to us to choose our attitude, when things do not go according to planned. The attitude we choose will be a direct reflection on the actions we take. In addition to that thought pattern, the serenity prayer helps as well. It doesn’t benefit us to worry over something that we have no control over. It only causes frustration, anxiety, regret, and disappointment, just to name a few.

Being resilient requires effort. We should constantly work on self-evaluation, positive thinking or redirecting your mindset, overcoming objections, forgiveness, being realistic & practical, and inner strength. Surprised? Well, it’s a ongoing learning process that has room for error. No one is perfect. In life there will be ups and downs, but what is your ability to adjust and bounce back? Granted, its only natural to be upset, mad, angry, disappointed and frustrated at times, but the key is NOT to remain there long. Bouncing back is just that, if you fall down just have the courage to get back up, and take another look. Doing the same thing over and over is just insanity.

In these perilous times (2 Timothy 3:1) it’s the our mind set and trickery of the adversary that has people snapping and loosing their minds. So why not take some time out and evaluate ourselves and work on being resilient. Like my father and late Pastor Lonnie White, used to say: Preparation is not a lost of time.

Romans 12:2

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Let’s think on this, and reflect.