Thursday, September 9, 2010

Professor Experience...

A new beginning another journey, at least by me. I walk in....sit down...and mingling with everyone. When 7:55 comes I sit down and wait for the Professor.

I enjoy people. I enjoy learning about them. Here I am just waiting patiently. Not knowing anyone...I say to myself. Okay? What time is it? It is time to go yet. Fear and doubt kicks in....I get nervous.

I look across the room and I catch the eye of another person. I am saying to myself...OMG...look away FAST. What is it about this person that has me pondering? I am sitting here picking my brain trying to overstand what's in theirs. I shake the thought, oh well.

So I sit there and I wait for the Professor to come in. The Professor walks in. Stands in the middle of the room, and commands attention. I look at "it" because its strange....its neither a woman or a man. What the heck is this I say to myself.

It turns around.....takes a deep breath. And shakes it's head and walks towards the blackboard. It writes on the board "Professor Experience Builds Character" I say to myself...what in the world is this?

My legs don't work. My body is stiff. When I try to move...its like my inner being gets up...but leaves the rest of me behind. I am like...looking back at myself saying....COME ON IDIOT LETS RUN NOW! I come to "real EYES" that its my fear and doubt telling me not to go there.

I reckon with the struggle and I come together again. I look around the room....and everyone has left. Its just me. The one student that did not...because she could not,


Why me? I ask myself. Why do I have to be in this class with Professor Experience? Why do I always get into these situations? The part of me that is adventurous goes wholeheartedly forward. While fear and doubt holds the rest of me back.

Professor Experience comes to me and looks at me and says....

"How do you expect thrive in your future career and in life if you will not allow yourself to experience?"

I look at it with a smirk on my face and say, "excuse me, do you know what's best for me? Why don't you take a walk in my old shoes and tell me why part of me went skipping and the other sat here doubting?"

Professor looks at me and shakes it's head and says, "When I stood in the middle of this room, I knew that YOU were the one I was here to teach. That's why I turned around and shook my head."

I looked at Professor Experience and rolled my eyes as hard as I could and stood up and said, "Do you have ANY idea the pain, hurt, disappointment, despair, regrets and rejection I have had in my life? Do you have ANY idea what its like to cry yourself to sleep, cry in your sleep, and wake up crying because you just can't understand why life has dealt this card?" I do the very best I can...I love people, I give, I work, I am everything to everyone, yet it is all in vain. I keep choosing the same card over and over in my relationships, in my daily dealings with people, in my career choices, in my affairs, and I just can't seem to figure out what my lesson is!"

Professor Experience turned it's head walked to the blackboard and started writing....

and writing......and writing.......

I look at the board....wiping the tears from my face and what did I see? Nothing. I wiped my face again...but nothing was there to read. I stood there puzzled. It looked at me and said, "Experience builds character. Keep living...keep learning....keep moving forward." Then it waved at me to come follow the path not taken.....

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